More Family Straight Jackets Than Ties
by NeoNails
Summary: The subject of Auggie's brothers, done my special way. "The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness." pre-Auggie/Annie.


I love how, now that we know just a _tiny_ bit about Auggie (aka that he has four older brothers), there has been this sudden boom to write about his family. Everyone seems to have their own fun, unique way of doing it, and, for obvious reasons, I just had to jump on the bandwagon. ;)

I guess you could count this as spoilers for _No Quarter_, but we all know it's for, "I have four mean ass older brothers."

$4$

_The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness._

- Nancy Mitford

**6**

This was for his mom. It was only going to take another hour (two, maximum), and it was for his mom. To make her happy.

After everything that happened post-Iraq, he knew his mother had a tough time being happy. So if making her happy meant spending time with his second eldest brother while he visited D.C. for some big headhunter business meeting, he would do it.

That didn't mean he had to be happy about it, though.

"Aug, dude, I don't know how you can stand to live out here for so long."

It was difficult not to sigh. He could be doing anything- getting a root canal or going through that bullshit polygraph test again came to mind- and it would be better than putting up with more of this.

"What do you mean?" he asked, making sure his tone was even and there was still a slight smile on his face. Not that it mattered, Nick was never all that great at reading people.

"D.C., man," he said, and Auggie heard the creak as Nick sat back in his chair. They were outdoors, eating al fresco at one of his favorite mom and pop's restaurants in the area. He knew Nick would rather eat somewhere fancier and more expensive, where people of his own caliber could appreciate another pricey suit he knew his brother loved to wear. "This city- it's cool and all, and the women here are totally hot, but I don't know how you don't miss it."

Auggie smirked. There it was, like always. Of his brothers, he was the only one to not only leave the state of Illinois, but also choose to live somewhere out of state- very out of state, in their opinions. He had heard it so many times before he was pretty sure he could put on a one-man show.

"Believe it or not, I love living here," he said, picking up the half empty bottle of beer in front of him and taking a swig. "And there's nothing you can say to make me want to move back to Illinois."

There was a shift, the soft sound of fabric brushing against fabric, and judging on the nineteen years Auggie spent living with him, he was fairly confident his brother had just held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, I'm not mom," Nick said, blunt as always. "I'm not tellin' you to move back home. We don't talk much but I always knew you were better off somewhere better than our little town."

He couldn't stop his eyebrows from shooting up in surprise. Honesty didn't happen often in his family. His mother was always the nicest of all of them, always trying to keep the family together, even when they were falling apart at the seams.

Of everyone, Nick was probably the easiest to get along with, so Auggie didn't mind this lunch get-together too much. He wasn't like Jason, the oldest, and Tom, the middle child, who both avoided him like the plague because they were so awkward around the subject of their baby brother's blindness. He wasn't like Greg, either, who was barely a year older than Auggie and got choked up every time he saw the cane.

At least Nick was (amazingly) smart enough to ignore it. Talking about work and how much the Yankees sucked this year was a lot easier than having to put up with special brand of guilt and pity his other brothers excelled at giving.

"I like my job at the Smithsonian," he said, grinning a little as he thought about his job at the 'Smithsonian,' also known as the Central Intelligence Agency. As much as he missed getting to work out in the field, he was always good with numbers and computers (a nerd in a family of jocks never makes for a very good mix) and he greatly appreciated his job as head of the tech ops in the DPD. Without Joan, he would've been at best confined to a desk with a lifetime of paperwork or just plain kicked out of the CIA with a little severance package and a lot of pity.

He seriously hated pity.

"What do you do there again?" Nick asked with a laugh, and there was clink as he picked up his own bottle of beer and set it back down on the wrought iron table.

"I'm an accountant there," he said, stretching out in his chair. His brothers never bothered asking much about his job because they never had an interest in it. None of them were all that fond of math in school (well, none of them were very fond of pretty much any classes in school- except for Jason, who now was a P.E. teacher at the high school they attended), so accounting was a surprisingly safe cover.

"It sounds boring, but I really love the people that I work with," he added, thinking of his boss, Joan, and his fellow tech geek, Stu. And, of course, there was Annie…

Nick started laughing and said, "I know that look. Alright, I gotta know- who is she? Please tell me not another accountant."

Shit. He hadn't meant to lose his poker face right there. But then, that was the problem, wasn't it- Annie was very good at making his perfectly executed poker face slip.

And then, almost as if he had willed her there- the scent of her perfume, the click of those heels, gentle sound of fabric brushing fabric (always soft material- silk and cashmere and cotton)- he was suddenly hit with such a wave of _Annie_ that his brain froze in its tracks.

"Ohmygod, _Auggie?_"

There was no way he could've imagined that one.

He felt her slender hand press into his shoulder, heard the sound of someone stop short in front of her- sounded like heels, most likely a woman- and she said, "What are you doing here?"

That was a pretty broad question, but he decided to keep it simple. "I'm having lunch with my brother," he said, turning his head in the general direction of her voice and gesturing in front of him, where Nick sat across the round table.

"Oh!" She was flustered, he was sure of it, and even with never having seen her he was positive she looked adorable flustered. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

Auggie chuckled, half because he couldn't believe this was actually happening and half because Annie had a habit of making him chuckle. "Annie, this is my older brother, Nick Anderson. Nick, this is Annie Walker."

He felt her weight shift, heard the slight sound of them shaking hands, and then heard the significantly louder sound of someone clearing their voice to his left. Right, the person with Annie.

"Crap, I'm sorry," Annie said needlessly again, and she rested her hand on his shoulder once more. "This is my sister, Danielle. We're having lunch here with a couple of my older relatives." She didn't sound too happy towards the end of that sentence, and he guessed that meant she wasn't too fond of her "older relatives."

"Danielle, this is Auggie Anderson," she added, and Auggie held out his hand until Danielle tentatively shook it. Not surprising- most people usually got skittish around him the second they realized he couldn't see.

"So you two work together?" Ah, shit. That wasn't a good tone coming from Nick. He recognized it as the same tone he had to deal with every time he brought a female friend home. Jesus, it was like he was a freshman in high school all over again.

"I work in acquisitions at the Smithsonian," Annie said, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Auggie helps me out when I need to know if something we're thinking about acquiring is fiscally responsible." He smirked at that, mostly because it was verbatim for what he taught her to say about their jobs.

"Really?" Danielle said, shifting from foot to foot. She sounded agitated, and he wasn't sure if that had more to do with Annie's job or the relatives they were about to meet. "You never told me about any of that."

There was an awkward pause, and Annie's fingers dug even further into his shoulder blade, and while it wasn't very comfortable he couldn't make himself say anything. There was a weird sort of solidarity involved, both of them trying to get through lunch with their older siblings.

"I guess it's good you're getting some geek use at the Smithsonian," Nick cracked, and there was that old residual desire to deck him, even ten or so years later.

"Of course," Annie said, letting out a cute little laugh like that was the most obvious thing in the world. "Auggie's my geek."

Another pause, this more confused and amused than awkward. It took her a couple of seconds to catch up with the very obvious implications in that sentence, and then he felt the hand on his shoulder freeze, and he would bet his pension that she had to be bright red by that point.

He heard Danielle let out a quiet snicker over his shoulder, and he knew all too well with his experience as the youngest child that it meant that Annie would be getting an earful once they were alone.

"Anne, we should probably head to the table- you know how Great Aunt Charlotte hates when we're late," Danielle said, finally saving her sister from the gave she'd dug- not that it mattered, the damage was already fully done.

"Oh, right," Annie said, and there was no way he could have missed he defeated tone in her voice. He'd have to ask her why she disliked her relatives later. "I'll see you at work Monday, Auggie."

He smirked, mostly to himself, because he knew at some point she would call him during the weekend, freaked out or nervous or angry about… something. It had been months since she had last managed to go an entire weekend without at least calling him (if not insisting she pick him up for drinks after another botched date) before Monday rolled around.

Auggie reached up and squeezed her hand back and said, "Yeah, I'll talk to you soon, Annie."

As soon as they had all said their goodbyes and Annie and Danielle were out of earshot, Auggie started the mental countdown. His brothers had this amazingly fun way of hitting on every girl he ever introduced them to, and they were all charming enough that it usually meant (at least) a few dates with each girl. He wasn't sure if he would be able to stomach it if that girl turned out to be Annie.

Nick was going to ask for her number in five, four, three, two…

"Aug, please tell me you've hooked up with her already."

What?

"C'mon," Nick said, and only then did Auggie realize he must've said that out loud. "Dude, the girl's a babe, and she's definitely interested in being more than coworkers with you. I will be disappointed in you as your older and wiser brother if you don't get with that."

Auggie was flabbergasted (mostly because when did one of his brothers start taking an interest in his social life?), but he still managed to get his shit together. "You do realize that we're from Illinois and that makes you sound like a jackass, right?" he said, smoothly avoiding everything Nick had not-so-subtly been hinting about Annie.

"Whatever, little bro," Nick said, and there was another series of clinks as he took another drink from his bottle. "She's hot and she seems pretty smart, which I know always ranked pretty high with you. Why the hell haven't you guys banged yet?"

He needed to take deep, calming breaths, in through his nose, out through his mouth. CIA training didn't just help when it came to taking polygraph tests. Sometimes it could even be useful from keeping you from pounding the shit out of your older brother.

"Why do you care that we haven't slept together yet?" Auggie said, unable to keep the anger from clouding his tone. "You and Greg and Jason were usually too busy trying to get into my female friends' pants to ever wonder if I had accomplished as much myself."

He heard his brother's deep baritone laugh, but it wasn't loud and it mixed with something else… regret? "I'll be the first to admit we were dicks," Nick said, and those nine little words had already left Auggie speechless to hear the rest. "But we're adults now. Well, mostly. Jason's still kind of a teenager, mostly because he spends like 90-percent of his time with them."

Was that… was that maturity? Coming from Nick? What next- was Greg going to call him tonight and start reciting Shakespeare?

"Besides," he continued, apparently unaware he had left Auggie speechless for the first time in a very, very long time. "I've been told that it's extremely frowned upon to hit on your baby brother's soon-to-be girlfriend when you're already engaged."

Auggie wasn't sure if he couldn't handle his brother dropping this many bombs on him in one sitting. "Wait… when did you get engaged?"

"You remember Diana, right?" Auggie nodded, recalling the tiny little thing that had been one of Nick's best friends since childhood. "Well, she went back home for Christmas and visited Mom and Dad's house to drop off an apple pie- she always made beast apple pies- and we started talking again, which led to dating, and then living together, and before you know it, a year and a half had gone by."

This was probably the first time in years he actually regretted not staying more in touch with his family. Jason and his wife, Catherine, had been married for over a year, and had recently had a baby, and Auggie didn't find out until about two months after he had been born. He hadn't been in Illinois state lines since their wedding, and even then he only stayed for the ceremony and the reception, nothing more.

Last he checked, Tom was dating some girl that worked with him, but that was months ago and for all Auggie knew he could be engaged to her, too.

"Congrats, Nick," he said, shoulders slumping. "Have Greg and Jess set a date yet?" Jess was another old friend of the family, and no one had been too surprised when Greg popped the question last Christmas. Auggie's mother was, of course, out of her mind with happiness and had called him the second she was told… He just hadn't been able to call her back until six days later (there had been an incident with an Iranian and some Cold War-era Russian nukes).

"I think they're planning on some time around June 10th or the 11th," he said, and Auggie could hear the grin in his voice. "Hey, you should ask your hot acquisitions' friend to be your date. I bet she'd jump at the chance."

**6**

The rest of lunch went pretty smoothly, more than a small miracle for two of the Anderson sons. They kept up a civil, pretty entertaining conversation, not dwelling on anything for too long. It was probably one of the best lunches he had ever had with one of his brothers ever.

Not that it had much to beat.

"I'll be right back, I gotta go inside and take a leak," Nick said, and there was the telltale sound of the iron chair legs scraping against the cement sidewalk as he pushed back his chair and stood up.

One side of Auggie's mouth quirked up. "As usual, there was no need to tell me that much information."

As he heard his brother laugh and walk away, he let his mind drift. It was truly odd and definitely ironic that, of all the little restaurants in the area, Annie picked the same one to go to at the same day and time. He was always a believer that it was a small world but even that seemed to stretch his powers of reasoning.

The subtle scent of grapefruit hit his perceptive nose. The hell was going on?

"Hey, Auggie, I'm so sorry to bug you again." That was Annie, sure enough. She was sitting in Nick's recently vacated chair, probably perched on it, ready to bolt at any given second. She was a damn good CIA agent, after all. "We're at the other end of the restaurant and I saw your brother get up and I just had to get away. If I didn't I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to clock my Great Aunt Beatrice."

He cocked his head to the side, trying to keep from laughing in her face. "What's going on, speaking of that? You didn't sound all that enthused earlier. What's wrong with Great Aunt Beatrice?"

She let out an unladylike snort, but as with everything else about her, Auggie found it more endearing than anything else. "She and her sister, Charlotte, are _really_ old-fashioned, and they've always lectured me and Danielle about how we should be proper ladies and wait on men hand and foot- which is I guess what they did, back before both their husbands kicked the bucket a long time ago- and they never particularly liked me, because Danielle was and always will be the good child, while I… liked to play SWAT team Barbie. But now Danielle's married with kids, and, don't get me wrong, I _love_ my brother-in-law and nieces, and I love even more that they don't mind me sleeping in their guest house."

"Anyway, Great Aunt Beatrice and Charlotte don't really _like_ that I'm only a few years away from 30 and I have no children and no husband and the only real relationship in my life is the one that I have with my cat. And, oh yeah, my _job_, which they super hate because they're the type of women that don't believe women should _have_ jobs."

"They sound very empowering," he said, unable to keep the smirk from playing across his face."I can see why they would love you so much."

"Ha ha," she replied dryly, and he heard the sound as she collapsed against the back of the chair with a soft sigh. "But enough about me. Why didn't you ever tell me you have a brother?"

"You never asked," he said simply, but the smile was starting to disappear. His brothers had that effect on him. "And I have four, not just the one."

"_Four?_" she said, and she was smiling. He heard it in the tone, and even though they were talking about his brothers he still wished he could see what that smile looked like, if only for a few seconds. "Geez. Never would've pegged you for coming from such a huge family."

"I was never a lot like any of my brothers, and when I was a kid they always used to say I was adopted. They were never all that nice, but being the youngest didn't help matters."

Annie laughed lightly, and, like always, the sound was music to his ears. "Hmm," she murmured, "Nonetheless, I think I would like to meet the whole Anderson clan. If they're related to you, they can't be all that bad."

He was reminded invariably of Nick's suggestion he invite Annie to Greg's wedding, even though there was no way she would want to go. Weddings in tiny towns in Illinois were never all that amazing.

He finished off the rest of his beer, setting it down with a final clink. "My family's not all that interesting. Let's talk more about 'SWAT team Barbie.'"

**6**

How long do you give them?"

Danielle grinned, turning around from her little spot behind a few potted plants and watched as Nick Anderson walked up to her. "What are we betting? When they kiss, when they sleep together, when they start dating, or when they _finally_ get married?"

He grinned and shrugged, running a careless hand through his short, spiky buzzcut. "All of the above, I guess."

"In that case, four days, a month, a month and a day, and five months." She turned back around, watching as her baby sister laughed and relaxed with her coworker and friend. They really made an adorable couple.

"No way," Nick said confidently, walking up next to her and peering over the plants. "My brother has way more skills than that. It's not gonna take him a month to get into her pants."

Danielle shot him a disgusted look and rolled her eyes. "What, are you fifteen?" she asked with an exasperated shake of her head. "Oh, but by the way, dibs on Christmas."

"What? No fair!" he said, looking sincerely outraged. "My mom is going to freak if she doesn't get to see them on Christmas. It kills her that he doesn't visit, but she hates that he doesn't have anyone more. She may actually have a coronary if they don't visit on Christmas."

"And my daughters want to be Annie's flower girls," she said stubbornly. "You guys can get them before or after Christmas, but I get Christmas Eve and Day. Oh, and New Year's."

"What-?"

"You can get Easter weekend," she added, "And next Christmas/New Year's. We'll alternate so it's fair."

He sighed, glaring at her. "Fine," he said. Holding out his hand, he offered her a charming half grin (if Annie had been there she would've noticed the startling similarity between his smile and Auggie's). "Happy to meet ya, future sister-in-law."

Danielle smiled back and shook his offered hand. "And happy to meet you, too, future brother-in-law."

$4$

This was absolutely ridiculous, and a testament to my very peculiar muse. This clocked in at a few hundred words shy of 4,000, making it my longest _CA_ oneshot to date. It was not intended to be this long- originally, it was going to take place at like a grocery store and each section was going to be like drabble-length short, but before I started writing I decided a restaurant would fit a little better and threw in an Auggie point of view (this isn't actually my first try at an Auggie p.o.v., it's just the first that I've decided to post for you guys ;D).

This was crazy long, and there are sections of conversations I wanted Auggie to have with his brother that I wound up scratching because it would have just taken too much time and it was already _so long_.

And one last thing, I hope you guys like Auggie's brothers, because until I hear more details about the four of them on the real TV show, Jason, Nick, Tom, and Greg are going to be my go-to guys 'cuz I'm pretty sure I want to have a sequel of sorts that involves Annie, Auggie, and a wedding (that isn't theirs, unfortunately).

….Whaddaya think? ;)


End file.
